How to build self-confidence

How to build self-confidence

By Alex Lloyd

Knowing how to build self-confidence is a key step towards a happier life, and is something everyone can benefit from. Self-confidence makes everything in your life so much easier, whether that’s in your career or in your personal relationships, and helps you to use all your skills and talents to their maximum. So here’s the best way to get more self-confidence.

Know Yourself

The first thing you’ve got to do is to get to know yourself better. People with low self-confidence generally give too much weight to the opinions of others. You’ve got to forget about what others say or think (they may have their own issues and agenda) and find out what is really going on. A good way to do this is to write down what is important to you in life, and what you are good at. This will help you to appreciate your skills and abilities.

If you are struggling to think of anything then try  thinking about when other people have complimented you on something, whether it’s your smile or your ability to perform a task of some kind. And look back at when you’ve accomplished something.

The better you understand yourself and what you are good at the easier the next step will be.

Control your thinking

To build self-confidence you need to learn to control your thinking and your inner dialogue and not sink into constant self-doubt and putting yourself down.

When you have a success of some kind you need to be able to identify it and congratulate yourself on your achievement. And accept compliments on that achievement from others don’t ignore or shrug it off.

If you have failures, you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself and realize that everyone has failures.  It’s important not be too much of a perfectionist or you’ll never be happy with how you are. It’s also not a good idea to always compare yourself with other people – it’s not necessary to be the cleverest or best looking or most successful person in order to be happy

Try to be positive, even if even if you don’t feel that way. Just pretending to be positive will actually help you to feel more positive.

Don’t think that everyone is looking at you, most people are too preoccupied with how they they are appearing to be constantly judging you.

Look your best

If you dress well, you will feel better about yourself, so think about having a makeover or spending some money on new clothes. It’s also helpful to be in the best physical condition you can be so you might want to do more exercise or go to the gym.

Try to pay attention to your posture, and to avoid slouching keep your shoulders back and your spine straight.


Studies suggest that smiling, even if you’re not necessarily feeling happy, can encourage your brain to be tricked into thinking you are happier and as a result you will actually start to feel happier.

Get out in the world

As you become more self-confident, you should hopefully be wanting to get out into the world more. People who are insecure withdraw from the world but getting out into the world helps you to stop focusing on your own problems and insecurities. It’s especially good to make a contribution towards the welfare of others, as it helps to give a sense of purpose and boosts your feelings of your own value.

Follow your interests

Take up a sport or hobby that you’ve always wanted to try or pick up one that you’ve done in the past. Learning new skills or improving old ones will help you realize that you are a talented person and will improve your feelings of self-confidence. You’ll also meet new people and have new experiences which is all good for your confidence.

Create daily self esteem affirmations

You can read about how to do this here

Self-confidence like happiness isn’t something that comes quickly and overnight, it is a series of steps, and sometimes you may go backwards. Try to remember the hurdles you’ve already jumped over and resolve to keep on going.

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